I am a youth minister. It's neat being a youth minister. Sometimes when I am getting my hair cut and the lady (or gentleman whatev) is making small talk with me for a better tip I like to see the expression on their face when I tell them what I do for a living. There are usually two responses #1 is "really? your a minister?" I never understand this response because when I look in the mirror I think I fit the typical minister mold, skinny, product in my hair, and a slight five o clock shadow. I'm either a minister or I work for the Apple Store. Then there is the second response, "awww thats nice." They are right, it is nice. I have been a great respecter of men and women in ministry ever since I was a child. I was not one of those people that thought ministry was something you did if you did not want to work, it was and is hard work and I knew it.
I knew youth ministry was more than just pizza parties and wild concert trips to see Michael W. Smith. In fact I viewed these types of events as perks to the job, not the job itself. Granted there are some lazy dudes out there that use ministry has a cloak to hide behind so they can sit in their office all day, play farmville, eat pork rinds, and drink Red Bull, but I like to think of my self as an optimist in this department and call them the exception not the norm. I bring all of this up because I want everyone who reads the next statement, (according to my stats the whole five of you), to understand that I am both a fan and respecter of youth ministry. With that being said I need to ask the question that has been bugging me for awhile now. Is modern day youth ministry doing more harm than good for the Church Universal?
Let me explain how this question began to surface. As I look back on my years as a kid in the Church, I am struck by the fact that I was not apart of a youth group. My home Church was simply too small to pay a designated youth minister to come in and work with what little amount of youth we had in the Church. This means a couple of things. One, I participated in a lot of "old people Church stuff." I sat in service on Sunday morning, I went on trips with grown ups, I ate fellowship meals with people who for the most part were way older than me. Don't misunderstand me, I went on youth trips (usually with other churches), and I had a Wednesday night bible study that was with kids my age (taught by volunteers from the church). Secondly, I spent a lot of time listening to "old" people teach, sing, and preach. At the time I hated it. I wanted so badly to be at a church that had a cool young dude that could play guitar and take me to Taco Bell when I wanted to go, I desired to be apart of a youth group.
Looking back on it though, I am grateful for the time that was spent among my older brothers and sisters. I believe, that because of my time spent with these dear people I relate a little better as a minister with the older folks in my congregation. Let's face it, how many horror stories have we heard about youth ministers butting heads with older folks in their congregation because of a lack of ability to work with them? Could it be that were setting our future youth ministers up to fail, because of the constant emphasis we place on segregating age groups within our congregations?
I have heard it said that Sunday morning is the most segregated day of the week in regards to Church, and I believe that is true, I also believe that statement applies to more than just skin color. A trend began to emerge among Church folk, and I am not smart enough to tell you when it started, but I know it was in full swing when I was a teenager. The mindset of this trend goes like this, "I don't like the music, chairs, decorations, and dress style of this Church so I'm going to go find one or start one that looks and sounds more like I think Church should look and sound." These Churches began to pop up all over the place, young disgruntled 20-30 somethings began to start their own Church's and although they would never say it out loud the pervading mindset among these congregations was NO OLDS ALLOWED! This is not to say that there were not a few trendy old folks sprinkled in among the crowd, but old traditions were gone. No old music, no old way of doing communion, no old way of preaching, it was all going to be new and fresh.
I'm a fan of new and fresh, and sometimes I think its needed, but as I look back on this trend and I see what has developed as a result of it, I begin to wonder if we have sacrificed something very important in the quest for new and fresh? Let me be very clear, I have no problem with congregations that are predominately younger, but I do have a problem with congregations that segregate the elderly under the guise of progressive evangelism and trendy seeker sensitive programs. So why do I bring this up? Why does my stomach turn whenever in the past I have walked into a church building to find that everyone is wearing the same designer clothes? I believe it is because as a youth minister I sometimes come in contact with students who have become a casualty of this segregation mindset. Let me explain it this way.
Those 20-30 something's that segregated themselves when I was a child have now become parents with teenagers, and those teenagers have been taught that if they do not like the way something is going in the group that they are apart of, they can just leave and find another group. As a result youth ministers become circus ring masters. We cater to the needs of those who whine and complain if something is not cool, flashy, fun, or interesting enough. If something is not interesting to them (i.e. they have to hang out with old people, and sing songs that old people like, listen to teaching that old people have to listen to) we develop program that pacifies, instead of teaching them to find the value and worth in the beauty that is worshiping together as a family of sanctified believers. Somewhere along the line we bought into the idea that the youth at a church are the most important part of the community, this is a lie! Buying into this lie has resulted in youth ministers that spend more time pacifying whinny kids than teaching and developing strong Christian teenagers.
Let me be clear about this, youth ministry is a vital part of our Church culture today, but youth and children's ministry that teaches segregation from the rest of the community is at best going to develop whiny shallow Christians and at worse going to fail completely. When we fail to teach our students that there is value in the way that our elderly brothers and sisters worship, we fail to teach them about what Christ desired for his Church.
So how about you? As a minister or participant in a local Church how do you make sure that students are encouraged to be in community with older brothers and sisters? What programs do you have in place to make sure they spend time together? I would love some suggestions as I am struggling with this concept.
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About Me
- jondrms
- Virginia Beach, VA, United States
- I am a happily married 25 year old mess that God some how uses to do ministry. That about sums it up.
Right on! I think we make a huge error when we believe that the 14-15-16-17 year olds at our churches need to be taught how to be Christian high school students. Rather they need to learn to be men and women of God! Because in truth, they are (young) men and women. We unfortunately aim for a Christianized version of American "adolescence" instead of teaching the young men how to be men and the young women how to be women, of God. I don't know what program or system a church might put in place. Some do a simple 1-on-1 mentoring program, and first teach the mentors how to mentor a teen. This seems like a good idea. As for me, I always gravitated towards the wisdom of godly older people. I wanted their perspective and would ask all sorts of random questions. Maybe one other good thing would be, as a youth minister, to be somebody who seeks out older mentors and friends, and thus model it to the teenagers. And endorse it to them.
ReplyDeleteHaving been in YM for 25 years, now preaching, I concur! Our "segregationist" attitude has developed little churches within the church. i.e, Children's church, Junior Church, Youth Worship, etc. The Body has become fratured and we wonder why there is no committment to the larger cause! Answers, no, I don't have them aside from the fact many YM's are to blame because they do not want to be accountable to the older members. (They forget it's the older members that pay their salary. Most youth don't have or won't give their money!) This is a dangerous trend and because of the "professionalism" of YM it will be a very difficult one to reverse. We have legitimized it, and by that we have given it power to do what it does without accountability/responsibility to anyone. Sad.
ReplyDeleteI want to share this with other YM's I know who are dealing with the same struggles and how they are dealing with it. (most of them inherited this problem)
Thank you for your candor and willingness to graple with such a serious subject! Godspeed!!
dude, i don't even know how to comment. i agree with you, but i have nothing of substance to add. i get so frustrated with how youth ministry has to be entertaining and deep at the same time. even in my youth group, i have segrated groups it seems like sometimes.
ReplyDeletei think there is so much value in a church where old people an young people get together. young people need to learn to respect and understand those who came before them, which can be a struggle. however, at the same time, a church that is serious about reaching its teenagers and young adults has to be willing to concede to the needs of the young as well.
we've been giving thought to a sunday morning worship service for teens, and one of the things that realy keeps me from doing it is the setup it gives the kids for their adult lives. i feel like we will give them a cool, hip (or whatever) worship, then they will turn 18 and when its time to move to "adult" church, they will be utterly bored, and drop out or find somewhere else.
good thoughts, good discussion. you aren't the only person who thinks along these lines.
This is a topic that full of grey, and well, for most of us we'd rather just talk about things in a very black and white fashion. I think the heart of the issue comes down to a question that we have to ask ourselves individually (and our teens & and adults too). that question is: Am I part of this group/church because I'm desiring to grow in Christ with others (i.e. worship, serve, share, etc.)or am I here for me, because I like "the way" they do things? We've treated the church like a buffet for far to long. Our culture is full of self obsessed people... we are. On the flip side, I know many of Churches that are predominately young and they are doing what they are doing not because it's trendy and to their personal taste, but because they are reaching a generation that sees and thinks differently and has a whole different set of values that need to be related to. This is why I say it's not a black & white issue. But your question is a great question to ask and explore. Personally, I love when my students get involved in the lives of people beyond their years... it's good for both groups. Watching a student's view of an older person transform from seeing them as old, outdated, stubborn, cranky, and maybe even useless to seeing them as experienced, caring, wise & vital is an amazing thing. So is the reverse. To see an older generation start to see these students as bright, energetic, passionate, and full of the light of Jesus is a refreshing experience.
ReplyDelete