I have a confession to make. I was just sitting in Panera Bread (The restaurant that nine out of ten hip young pastors prefer in a national taste test), and I was hit with the startling realization that in just a few short months I am going to be the father of a preachers kid.
Some of you may not understand why this thought is an unnerving feeling to me so let me explain. I have come in contact with a lot of preachers kids (or PK's as there known on the street). I have interacted with them at church camps, at my home church, had them in youth group and even dated one and dated and married another. It has been my experience that PK's are always held to a higher standard than the rest of the kids in the community and the Church.
For some reason it is automatically assumed that if a kid possess the genes of a preacher that they some how are oblivious of and incapable of sinning, and if they do they should be chastised with even more wrath than the wrath that I chastise my puppy for peeing on my carpet with. I am not sure why this is, and I'm not sure what to do about it, but I'm nervous.
Let's face it, we all could probably name some pretty rebellious PK's, you may in fact be one. I blame a lot of my anxiety on the popular show 7th Heaven. I grew up watching that show and I learned one major lesson for it. PK kids are messed up! It seemed like every week Mary, Lucy, Simon, Ruthy, and Matt were always getting into some kind of awkward moral dilemma that would lead their preacher father ever closer to a massive heart attack (which he eventually had I may add). I'm not really sure how I am going to handle that stress.
So I have a question for all you minister dad's out there.
What steps do you take to make sure that your kids are not help to any higher standard than any other kid in the congregation that you serve?
What steps can I take as a father to make sure my kids don't develop the PK syndrome that will eventually lead me (according to TV) to a career ending ulcer or massive heart attack?
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About Me
- jondrms
- Virginia Beach, VA, United States
- I am a happily married 25 year old mess that God some how uses to do ministry. That about sums it up.
The pressure comes from yourself, and the community to be held to a higher standard like you said. If you want to raise them normal, challenge their thinking. Ask them why they think it is right or wrong to do whatever their doing. If they think about decisions rationally then typically they are less often to have problems weekly like the show haha. Give them the opportunity to experience the "real world" and the consequences they have to offer. If mistakes are not learned at an early age, they are potentially much bigger as they grow older. Creating a bubble around them only makes it worse later. More rebellious. At the same time, don't let them run wild and crazy.
ReplyDeleteTLDR: Be a normal parent, do what you think is best for you and the child. That's all you can do.
you had to google the names didnt you :)
ReplyDeletein my opinion you're going to be a fantastic father. to be honest, i think that due to many generation changes and as the church itself grows and develops, the pk's wont be looked to as harshly. but i guess it also depends on which part of the mason dixon line you're on. and it all boils down to the type of discipline in the home.
you've seen enough examples,(we both have) and have your own thoughts on parenting that you will utilize and will be the best for your family. in the end prayer and example is probably the best thing to do.
at least you'll have my prayers, and amazing example....and i'm going to spoil the mess out of that kid so much, they wont want to rebel :)
I am trying to write a sermon and a Good Friday service and things just arn't coming to me. So I decided to look through the blogs I follow and saw your post on this topic. I completly understand how you feel.
ReplyDeleteI remember several months ago it all the sudden hit Crystal that our soon to be born child was going to be a PK. She almost started crying. When she almost started crying I started laughing at her. We had a great laugh together. It is funny when these things occure to us.
You will do great. I think you have a tremendous head on your shoulder's and have good balance in life.